Vocal Rest?

Holy Shit That Madonna Concert

I went to the Madonna concert last night and I am still digesting it. Cardi B showed up to judge the voguing competition. Bob the Drag Queen, donning a Marie Antoinette-style dress, started the night warning us that we would be exhausted at work today, and not only that, encouraged it. Madonna’s daughter played the piano and clearly has the best instructor in the Upper East Side. But I think the one thing that stuck with me — besides Madonna reading from the Bible and performing a frankly beautiful acoustic rendering of “Express Yourself” — was a meandering motivational speech in which she revealed that despite pleas from her team to do vocal rest on Sunday, she proceeded to throw an Oscars afterparty.

I loved it.

The whole evening was a relentless onslaught of self-mythology, traversing from Madonna showing up to Times Square with $35 and a pipe dream to her starving as a dancer and then “picking up a guitar” and then ending with all the various eras of Madonnas manically twirling around the stage. There was a sincere tribute to her artist friends she lost to AIDS in the 1980s, a skit where she tells a bartender she just got dumped and then proceeds to try to sneak into the coolest, most exclusive nightclub (Madonna crawls between a bouncer’s legs, a visual metaphor that’s so heavy-handed it works), and unfortunately, a Cirque Du Soleil-style glorification of Michael Jackson (we get it you guys hung out a few times in the late 80s/early 90s, but is it really necessary to link your legacy to that man.)

Of course, there was a lot of spectacle: cowboys and crucifixes and a Universal Studios simulation of the Lower East Side. By the end, I felt indoctrinated into the cult of Madonna. Bob the Drag Queen shouted her name so many times that it became a Kabbalist mantra.

That being said, I believe I will always remember her bit about vocal rest.

I love the pop star inspirational speech. I will come out and say that I used to get chills watching Lady Gaga’s “Fame Monster” era speech (“YOU’RE A GOD DAMN SUPERSTAR!”) . Although fans want singers to “play the hits,” I also go to concerts to witness some unhinged behavior from a very famous person. More speeches that encourage my delusions, please.

But this was different. Sure, Madonna talked about how motherhood was humbling and told us to never forget our origins and mentioned that her fans and family were what kept her going after a hospitalization. However, she didn’t cap it off with a “YOU’RE A GOD DAMN SUPERSTAR, TOO!” No, here was Madonna, giving a longwinded speech to her most loyal devotees, reminding all of us that she doesn’t really care what anyone thinks.

A recurring theme to the night was that her presence is perseverance, the ultimate fuck you to a sexist, homophobic, and ageist industry. In this little tidbit about her defying vocal rest, she added an extra layer to that message. It’s not enough to just stick around, you also have to keep up the bit. She gave us a peak behind the curtain — oh my god she’s working so hard! — only to inform us that she’s otherworldly.

We are all exhausted today, as Bob The Drag Queen forewarned. Madonna, on the other hand, is probably sifting through glossy photos from her Oscars party and screaming instructions into one of her phones, vocal rest be damned. I don’t want pop stars to sing passive aggressive songs peppered with Easter eggs about some marginally handsome ex.

No, I want to be put in my place.

Thank you Madonna.